i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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