only if we run a train.
done.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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