Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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