You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
