he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize