Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
