Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
