I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
