If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
