why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
