South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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