porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
