Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
