I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
