forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Randomize
