I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just cut my nipple shaving
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
