im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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