How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize