so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
