woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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