she smelled like a LAN party
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This is my gift to your gina
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
