I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
