this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
