Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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