If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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