I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
