I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize