You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
