Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize