It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
