I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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