Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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