Plan B is the new Plan A
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
