I feel great
I just peed on a car
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i love accidental penises.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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