just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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