Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
