it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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