You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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