well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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