Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
