Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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