Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize