i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
