omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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