Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
This is my gift to your gina
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
