i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize