u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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