Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
