you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
