is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
