I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
