My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
