the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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