Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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