I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
