Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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