My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Drunk is not a location!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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