a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize