Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
