Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
