dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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